Every year, many children experience separation of their parents or caregivers, and this can be a big period of change for the whole family. How parents navigate separation can have a significant impact on children’s wellbeing. We have taken a few tips from a webinar co-produced by Child Family Community Australia and Emerging Minds on supporting children’s wellbeing during separation.

Normalise your feelings

Remember, it’s normal to find this time difficult, and it’s normal to grieve.

What if it doesn’t have to be all doom and gloom?

In society we can often think that separation automatically negatively impacts children, but it can be empowering to realise that it doesn’t have to be this way. Maintaining effective communication and staying focused on your child whilst trying to understand their viewpoint can help to minimise the negative impact of separation on children. Your positive mindset can help children to have a positive outlook too.

Focus on the new

Focusing on the new can help you and your child to move forward. For example, introducing new traditions and new celebrations.

No quick fixes!

Remember, it can take time for each member of the family to process separation. Sometimes, it may come up in certain contexts, and you may need to go back and revisit it, particularly as the needs of children change with age.

Try to give your child a voice where you can

So much is out of children’s control, so give them a voice wherever you can. For example, they may want to come home early when they have spent a weekend at one parent or caregivers house, and as they get older, they can be given more autonomy. It can help to think outside of the box too. If you have a child who likes sport, you can try playing sport with them to see if they open up more in that space. Or, if your child has trouble expressing their feelings, you could give them a journal where they can write letters to you.

You can’t pour from an empty cup

Your wellbeing has a big impact on your child’ s wellbeing. The healthier and happier you are, the more this flows on to your children and the rest of the family.

Seek support

Support services are available for you if you need them. Having a space where you can talk to someone outside of your social network (e.g., family and friends) about your own experiences of separation, and any grief you might be experiencing can be helpful. Mediation between parents and caregivers can be helpful, and your child can be included in mediation too where necessary or appropriate.

Resources

Separation and divorce
https://emergingminds.com.au/families/separation-and-divorce/

Positive post-separation parenting
https://emergingminds.com.au/podcasts/positive-post-separation-parenting/