We are reposting this article from the Blue Knot Foundation which they posted in their newsletter inRecognition ofBoost Self-Esteem Awareness Month

Self-esteem is often described as the foundation of self-worth and confidence. However, for people with living or lived experience of complex trauma, building, and maintaining a healthy sense of self-esteem can be an ongoing challenge. The impact of trauma, particularly when experienced in childhood or over an extended period, can deeply affect how individuals see themselves, interact with the world, and navigate relationships. As we observe Self-Esteem Awareness Month, it is important to recognise these challenges and highlight ways to foster healing and self-compassion.

How Complex Trauma Affects Self-Esteem

Complex trauma—often resulting from prolonged exposure to abuse, neglect, or systemic adversity—has profound effects on a person’s sense of self. Unlike single-incident trauma, which may cause distress but does not necessarily shape core identity, complex trauma can fundamentally alter self-perception.

Internalised Shame and Self-Criticism

An impact can be the struggle with persistent feelings of shame and self-doubt. This can stem from early experiences where blame was attributed to suffering, invalidation, or being made to feel unworthy. Over time, these messages become internalised, leading to harsh self-criticism and difficulty recognising personal strengths and achievements.

Trusting Positive Feedback

For those who have lived through ongoing trauma, positive reinforcement can sometimes feel foreign. Compliments may be dismissed or deflected, as ongoing negative experiences can shape an expectation of criticism or rejection. This makes it harder to accept praise, celebrate accomplishments, or acknowledge personal growth.

Boundaries and Fawning

When the experience of validation and acknowledgement is conditional sometimes a belief can grow that by being accommodating or “good enough” for others will elicit feelings of worthiness.  This can lead to exhaustion, resentment, and further feelings of inadequacy.

Rebuilding Self-Esteem: Pathways to Healing

The journey to reclaiming self-worth is not linear, while healing looks different for everyone, there are steps individuals can take to nurture self-esteem:

1. Practicing Self-Compassion

One of the most powerful ways to shift negative self-perception is through self-compassion. This means treating oneself with the same kindness and understanding offered to a friend. Self-compassionate statements such as “I am doing the best I can” or “I deserve to be treated with respect” can help reframe negative self-talk.

2. Challenging Negative Core Beliefs

Trauma often imprints false beliefs about self-worth. Working with a therapist or engaging in self-reflective practices like journaling can help identify and challenge these beliefs. For example, replacing “I am not good enough” with “I am worthy of love and respect” can be a small but powerful shift.

3. Setting Healthy Boundaries

Building self-esteem involves recognising personal needs and asserting them. This may mean saying no without guilt, prioritising self-care, or surrounding oneself with supportive people. Healthy boundaries create a sense of agency and reinforce self-worth.

4. Celebrating Small Wins

Recovery from complex trauma is a process, and every step forward deserves recognition. Acknowledging small achievements, whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, practicing self-care, or simply getting through a tough day, can help reinforce a more positive self-image.

5. Seeking Support

Healing from complex trauma does not have to be done alone. Counselling, peer support groups, and trauma-informed resources can provide guidance, validation, and encouragement in the journey toward self-acceptance.

For those with living or lived experience of complex trauma, self-esteem is not just about feeling good about oneself—it is about reclaiming a sense of worth that was once denied. To mark Self-Esteem Awareness Month, let’s acknowledge the resilience of trauma survivors and foster conversations that encourage self-compassion, empowerment, and healing. Everyone deserves to see themselves as valuable, capable, and worthy of love.

If you feel these issues impact on you may find seeking individual counselling or support helpful.Here are some useful services which support people, their family members and carers who have experienced trauma.

Victims’ serviceswww.victimsservices.justice.nsw.gov.au1800633063

Blue Knot Foundation www.blueknot.org.au 1300657 380 for support for people and their families who have experienced trauma

SAMSN www.samsn.org.au1800 472 676 specialising in supporting male survivors of sexual abuse